hunger for enlightenment

the lowering of my tolerance also means the crazier my dreams have been having. a friend once told me that this is one of the effects  -- and i have to stay that i really believe him now. my dreams for the past month have been insanely complex, frightening and hopeful -- all things considered, a really good head check for myself.

when my eyes opened today - all i could think of was escape to warmth and having a week of silent time just to think. the first thought i had was to jump on a plane to india and sit with a guru, sweating, meditating, thinking and trying to heal myself. then the realist in me thought, that i dont NEED to go somewhere to get back on track (though a warm vacation would be nice) and that the sooner i come to grips with what is going through my head and my heart -- the better.