daily reminders for me.

i would wear this.

my friend here at work really supports my vintage style quest -- and is actually part of the burlesque pinup culture as well. she always passes these great ladies blogs and etsy stores along to me -- and i get so excited to learn about this style and incorporate it into my own.

today, my new favorite blog, vixen vintage, featured an article and photos of topsy turvy design - who are incredible hat makers. here is the one that stole my breath away:
























can you see me in this? maybe a potential photoshoot purchase for the EP coming up this fall! i cant wait to have more $$ and purchase this for my wardrobe. definetly think i was born a few generations late, but am so excited to fuse what i love into my own personal style.

more facebook inbox searching | poem for redlist

i love that i suprise myself -- so glad that ive always been writing.

heres something i wrote for jake in the first few months that we started dating (melts inside)

hes the redlist, correct in his stance and his flow
im the sauce, city born straight from the eight six oh
hes the one creating tracks with reason and recycle
while im in the in the kitchen making cookies with celph titled
hes most attractive, with the softest skin and lips ill always be kissin
im that girl, kickin it at the symph and the hill dubbed mission
hes the bboy, different, fresh hat for every single element
and if we were in cali, we’d both be getting “hella” bent
hes THE ONE, so all the others, move out of the way
im the one supporting his craft, every night, every day
hes the dream i found that i could never know could be reality
thankful beyond all words, swiping cards for our weekly salary
hes only one I trust and can translate my handwriting
still the luckiest lady, seeing hims like shooting star sighting
boppin our heads to the beats and the breakdowns in any kind weather
so sure were meant to do this thing called life together

<3

facebook inbox searching

i was just pondering the many ways that i love my man and thought out of curiosity that i would see if i could find the first message jake and i sent over facebook. to my surprise i did.

the sweetness of this makes me tear up!



<3 team j&s - 11.11.06 till infinity! <3

artistic obession

redlist told me that i should make art that i enjoy -- if i wanted to make art. something that is so simple, but sometimes very hard for people to grasp. this is what i did when i started writing graffiti and what a wonderful world that opened up for me. since my arrest and time away from street writing -- ive been in and out of depression and have to admit that i put art on the backburner for years because i just didn't have the same drive that i used to. thankfully with the usage of my beautiful antidepressants and the wonderful season, i have started painting and creating art that i like -- but is a step above to actually create (well more than just writing letters).

this new art ive been creating is definitely an evolution -- am do only believe that i am at the beginning of where i can go and grow with this. i actually wouldn't even know what to call "it" because the style that i am attracted to the most really came out of a fusion of different artistic and cultural combinations.

its also the certain style that ive always seen myself looking like and dressing as. something that has also been way easier to do and very motivating since ive lost all of my "depression" weight of about 15 extra pounds that i never wanted on my body anyway.

the best words i have to describe it are: "day of the dead - vintage pinup - chola - hiphop chick"

i found an INCREDIBLE artist today and i cant stop searching his site at all! his name is mike giant and also a writer, is totally on this style that i LOVE that i dont have enough words to describe.

check him out at www.mikegiant.com

things lately.

i dont know if i should blame it on my genetics, the season or on the people that im pissed at -- but why is everyone so CRAZY lately. its like they are not living in reality -- or not seeing the same same life that im living. maybe its just my age and that people have a problem with consistently being an adult -- or the respectable person that led you to believe they were. just reiterates my trust (or should i say lack there of!) issues and ive never felt stronger about loving myself first.

this week was the start of the semester at the educational institution that i work at -- and i have the opportunity all week to orientate my new students (some who are in america for the first time ever!) with the culture of a U.S. classroom, the law school system in the U.S. and most importantly, help them adjust from their respected countries and cultures to that of Boston. they all are such sweethearts, and although i helped them alot (because its literally my job to) they are super greatful and appreciative.

today, a student came up to me who i have been helping for about a year now. she said, "i know that everyone thinks that youre nice and sweet and helpful -- and you are but i want you to know that i see that you are a very strong woman. i can see it in your eyes that you are tough and i really like that about you."

what an awesome complement to weigh out all of the bs that i've been dealing with.

the cup is more than half full.

yes, i will get my revenge and i have nothing holding me back. so much rage is fueling my thoughts now, but im really okay with it. its another step of my "grieving" - or what i most like to refer to as a healing process.

these have been my affirmative thoughts lately:
+ i win
+ my time is more valuable than yours
+ handmade, homemade & trying to as much DIY as possible
+ blunt honesty
+ no time for sleep
+ fuck you, pay me.
+ revenge is so much sweeter when im right and youre wrong
+ use writing and painting to vent anger
+ takin down two people i hate in this life (via the internet)
+ turn other peoples stupidity to lessons & $$$

oh, and im back to working two jobs again. gonna tough this out for the next few months and then about to make some REAL big moves. watch out now.

slackage -- in the best way.

oh blog ive missed you so much. being at home all week should have given me more motivation to write and update you -- but without the internet at home, i really have focused my attention on my painting, writing and cooking.

my first "staycation" went really well -- and by WAY too fast! i did manage to get out of the city for a little weekend getaway with redlist's amazing family up to NH. i loved the silence, the laughs, the RAPS and the fresh air. we even brought beretta and she just had too much fun exploring the mountain chalet.

i got to chillll with my (little bro) john's lady Emily and she just is the most adorable 17 year old ive met in a long time. shes got a creative positive outlook and so much zest and toughness to her strong petite frame. alot about her reminded me of myself -- and wish that i knew as much as she did when i was her age. john has been creating beats and incredible musical creations on reason and has been getting so dope at the art of rhyming. i feel like he is really finding his voice and there is so much power behind what he knows. redlist and him plan to do a project soon -- and i hope that miss emily and i can add some flavor to that!

i really dont want summer to end -- holding on to these last days as much as i can for real.

old pitchas.

my little sneaky sister recently got her hands on some old pictures of me and my family from back in the day. ive been editing them all afternoon -- so glad i know how to use photoshop a little bit.

heres my favorite one:

it describes the summer of 1992 so perfectly. it was one that i would never forget -- and one that i first remember.

random design during the weekend.

just felt the need to make these and play around in photoshop on saturday. thought id throw em up here -- kinda give you a feeling of how ive been feeling lately.

looking into the eyes of chris palko.

i know i haven't stopped talking about this, but the CAGE | DEPART FROM ME show was unreal and unbelievable fun. certainly making it the best show ive ever been a part of in boston. this picture just speaks 100000 words from the evening.

a legendary artist that i respect so much!!!

chris rock on ellen - october 2008

holy shit! my boyfriend would be pissed to know that i was watching ellen, but as soon as i flipped the channel i saw chris rocks face -- and knew that i would be pleased. ive ALWAYS thought that chris rock was hilarious, down to earth and definetly one of the best comedians of recent times.

this was a rerun, and ellen and him were talking about halloween and the election. chris rock not only slayed her questions with an extremly funny answer on both topics -- but brought the real truth to light through doing so -- and THATS why entertainment starts and THAT is why i'm such a big fan of mr. rock.

heres a link to the interview - it really is funny if you watch it! too large to embed in this blog (...thats what she said): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2i_ZxLU9bU

[talking about halloween]

ellen: what are you going to be?

chris rock: "me -- i'm just going to be white. im always white on halloween. its great -- PEOPLE respect you. just any ol' white person. people hug me, ask me how i'm doing? sometimes i stay white until november 4th. "
--------

ellen: i dont think you have any opinions on this - but lets talk about the election.

chris rock: well i think that obama is gonna win. and you know why i think hes gonna win? cause hes KENYAN and you c an beat a kenyan in a race.

ellen: [laughs and says something not really that important]

chris rock: if you took a plane right now to vegas, and i got on a kenyan - i'd get on a kenyan - id beat you there.